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I want to cry so much...
Why?

Maybe I'm happy,
Maybe I'm sad.

I feel so alone,
Yet I've been with people all day.
I feel so unloved,
Yet I know I have people who love me.

I can't talk about these feelings.
I can't open up when the door is locked.
And the key is lost.

I want to inspire,
But I just recieve empathy.
I want to die,
But I keep on breathing.

I feel so confused, lost and all alone.
The feelings inside me are too strong for my body.

I don't want someone to understand.
I want someone to give me the answers to why I am like this.
And a solution to fix the massacre inside me...
how I feel....
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:iconsilencedbook9:
Silencedbook9 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Student Writer
Need a hug?
Reply
:iconbanana-taco:
Banana-Taco Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
DUDE YOU HAVE THE POWERS OF THE POETRY GODS OMG. You let me know how you feel with so much detail. Trust me, I've felt this before... But I have broken through the broken doors and now, I have found some happiness. ♥ Feel better~
Reply
:iconmarmodre:
Marmodre Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
My, I reckon many of these words as mine own; seeing them on paper slightyl shakes something in me. However, the only advise i have is to not become cynical and cold and ignoring your own feelings, as I have. It will be harder to find the point of change, then.
Reply
:iconpullitapart:
PullItApart Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
The door is locked, but you can't ever lose the key. It sounds horrifying, and stupid, and hopeless, but choose someone you think is the most worth your trust and tell them stuff. Tell them you're hurting and tell them why.

It seems like it won't help, but it takes the burden off somehow. It makes it better.
Seriously, feeling the way you do is the worst I've ever felt. As soon as I started allowing myself to lean on my friends when I needed to, I learned that friendship has to be a two way street for it to work. If you just listen but never share, you're not the only one feeling alone. They want to get to know you better if they want to be your friend. They want to help you, listen to you, care about you. They can give advice, and even if it sucks, it's good to hear all perspectives and look at a situation rationally.

If you allow yourself to build up good friendships like that, you actually start to feel awesome. Having a relationship doesn't seem like the only thing that matters anymore. You enjoy the feeling your friendships give you enough to be alone when you go to bed, because at the end of the day you feel the love overflowing. :)
Reply
:iconyellowtori:
YellowTori Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Unfortuantely the friend I rely on most has being the one person who I'm the most angry with. I'm struggling so much. Because the people who I'd go to either don't know what to do if I ask them something or are fighting their own battle.
Reply
:iconpullitapart:
PullItApart Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Everyone's fighting their own battles. It's a matter of sharing each other's burdens, you know? Talk to them anyway.
Reply
:iconravinniaofcreed:
ravinniaofcreed Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I felt that way for years. I still do, but things do get better. I know that now. Stay strong and kick life's ass. Fighting it is the only way to find happiness. It takes a long time, but it DOES work.
Reply
:iconyellowtori:
YellowTori Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconravinniaofcreed:
ravinniaofcreed Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You are most welcome.
Reply
:iconatlover111:
ATLover111 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I feel the same way, buddy... you're not alone :)
Reply
:iconyellowtori:
YellowTori Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks
Reply
:iconpseudonym-blue:
pseudonym-blue Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
I'm sorry you feel like this. There's really no explanation for feelings like this, and I certainly can't explain them - it sounds like depression to me, though. Please try to talk to one of the people close to you about it - just consider it.
Very good poem, too.
Reply
:iconyellowtori:
YellowTori Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student General Artist
I already know I have depression. I just want the reasons why. Maybe that will help with the solution.
Reply
:iconpseudonym-blue:
pseudonym-blue Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Sometimes it just happens, I guess. I think it's hereditary. Maybe you should try doing some research about it, and then think about what makes you unhappy in your life, and see if you can solve the problem or cut it out of your life.
Reply
:icongale-oneofmany:
Gale-OneOfMany Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds like me some days. Very nicely written :)
Reply
:iconyellowtori:
YellowTori Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you :)
Reply
:icongeneralcuppincakes:
GeneralCuppinCakes Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Very beautiful.

Please watch which groups you're putting things into however, as I don't believe this belongs in CountryXReader. Just a friendly warning before someone screeches at you for misplacing something.
Reply
:iconyellowtori:
YellowTori Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student General Artist
I realised after and removed it immediately. Thank you though.
Reply
:iconccurlee3:
ccurlee3 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ditto.
Reply
:iconyellowtori:
YellowTori Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student General Artist
:) thanks
Reply
:iconccurlee3:
ccurlee3 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No prob.
Reply
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