[x]

I Don't Miss AdolescenceMy sister calls to ask me if I'll do her makeup;
Mami promised that she would, but she's tired
and screamed when Maria reminded her senior prom
is tonight. She says, "I have a hickey on my neck,
something she doesn't want to cover, and you've always
done a better job of highlighting the subtle graces
inherent to my bone structure, the angles we share."

I say, "That's okay, but I can't pick you up,"

so she arrives in a flourish of exasperations,
telling me all the family business, waving her nails
in my face and talking about the pain of her extensions.
She says, "Do you think we need yellow concealer?
I plan to take pictures, and the last

7 - The Pet PoetI remember when Mommy bought you
a black-haired pet for your sweet sixteenth.
Its bronze collar said its name was "Poet."
You fed it noise from the out-of-tune piano,
intense moments involving flesh and razors,
and the occasional walk by the lake.

At first, he knew only the wolf's howl,
purging blood and flames onto the carpets.
Everywhere was a smell of extravagance --
like that woman's cheap perfume on the train to work.
But you cried a little less,
smiled a bit more.
And that was when Daddy stopped
trying to send it back to the shelter.

Soon, you even started watching T.V.
(and enjoyed food, dressed nice, made friends.)
But T

unrequitedyou make my words
gather at the hollows
of my throat
until i choke on them.

my fingers ache to
hold you--
but my eyes ache to
cry.

you're nothing but heart break
wrapped in a bow
of something beautiful,
like the dust of grace from
fallen angels.

i drink a little faster and
cry a little harder
because the way whiskey and tears
mingle on my lips
tastes suspiciously of love.

The HourglassWatch the hands go round and round.
Ahhhh, how long have I been sitting here,
Listening to the grandfather clock?
Watching him ticking away?
Watching the polished wood yellow and rot?
And with every sound he makes
More maggots eat his wooden flesh.

Every grain that falls is an eternity!
In the firelight you can see the glass.
The dust that coats the cracking bulb,
Listening to the sand that trickles down.
Listening to the passing hours.
With every grain that filters through
Another man sleeps eternally.

The sundial stands defiant!
From my leather chair I see it!
It stands defiant in the plaza below me!
Standing in the moonlit night.
Standin

Onyx DreamsOnyx Dreams

Fluctuations of sound waves vibrate the floor,
While the lights of my room glow brilliantly,
But as time winds down and my energy starts its decline,
My vision gets blurry and listening becomes hearing,
And hearing becomes simple background noise,
While Palaceer Lazaro’s words become filmy intonations
Yet, still creating a motion picture full of abstract images,
In my mind full of words and phrases that do nothing but stay stagnant,
And Slumber begins to wrap her warm hands around my head,
As she sweetly begins to pull me into black depths of rest,
A state of unconsciousness that will take me on a journey,
Through the grey abyss we call the center of our nervous system,
And once I fall into the pit of nothingness, the pit of onyx, for those few hours,
I will transform into an atramentous being with aphotic wings,
Because “black is free……..”

All-Seeing EyeAll-Seeing Eye

We’re not moving, but He is……

Equestrian StormEquestrian Storm

I was walking through Canterlot,
as rain beat my plot.
I just didn’t feel right,
before it came into my sight.

The princess of the night,
alone and broken.
What a pitiful sight,
out of my slump, twas awoken.

“Princess, why are you here why are you crying?”

“Because nopony loves our night, I would be better off dying!”

“No Luna no, now that you shouldn’t say!”

“And why ever not, what reason hath you that I should stay?”

“Celestia for one, your sister whom you love.”

“Right sure, the sister from whom to the moon I was shoved.”

“Lu

DilemmaToday in class
You moved to sit beside me
And my heart missed
A beat

Your friends followed,
All sitting nearby
And I sat in silence
Afraid of being judged

The presentation started
And I tried not to look at you
But instead peeked
From the corners of my eyes

The presenters spoke
And I tried to focus
On the droning voice
But you invaded my thoughts

What we had talked about last night,
What I should say to you,
How I should instigate the conversation,
If we were to have one at all

I peek over
And you look miserable
Sick, I remember,
And feel an instant sympathy

Time passes
And fear of being judged
By those around me
Keeps me silent

You

All Systems are Shutting DownI shut down
Kicking everyone out
I sit alone inside myself, while other pieces of me close the gates around my heart
And lock the door to my brain
I refuse to let anyone in; I pretend I’m not home
“Please leave your message after the beep…”
Beep.
“Where are you?”
I don’t know.
“Are you okay?”
I don’t know.
“When are you gonna let me in?”
I don’t know.

You were cold insideYour lips tasted of
summer, of warm days and
cherry-flavoured ice,
relaxing by the
pool side and
smiling against the sun.

You should have been too hot,
too sticky, too humid.
You should have
overheated, should have
melted into your bones until
they turned to ashes, but
it never happened.

I suppose I should have
seen it coming, but
I was so moonstruck over
the way you said my name, so
in love with the idea
of love, that I
didn't notice the way
your eyes bled
winter.

VIIEncore un peu de cendre
Au coin de tes lèvres
Parolescentes

J'épluche tes souhaits
Tu laves le ciel
En vain

Et dans ce vent chaud
Des milliers de pétales
De peau

No wordsI don't like to talk.
I feel that words cannot truly express what I feel.
When I am filled with emotion, I can find no word that can express what I feel to the fullest.
There is no word beautiful enough to describe this joy, no word horrible enough to describe this hate, no word ugly enough to describe this miserable existence.

nothing specialthey tell you not to give up
because you have potential--
and to the ones who simply enjoy
you're probably fantastic
but to those who do
you're simply mediocre,
nothing to bat an
eyelash at.

you're not quite bad enough
to quit, but you're not
great enough to be
remembered.

a small dosage per daysorrow makes its way into my cup of tea every morning
and I add more spoonfuls of sugar into it,
hoping the sweetness will overpower the bitterness;

yet, this clever feeling still seeps through the sweet substance
and clings itself to the sugar's particles,
which in return races through my veins
and scatters in my blood,

making an entire day feel ruined
already.

Never open the window... Never open the window...

I see you're here.

Pay attention, don't fall. It's dark.

What? No, I don't want to light up the room. Yeah, nor open the window. It's useless.
And actually, the only light I need...
...is that one that is so distant for me.

She asked me why I was saying that.
But best of all, I knew that actually she didn't care
I saw too much faces ready to wipe away all my tears and all my fears
But best of all, I know that actually they didn't care.

Seems like destiny put me in this world to help others.
Oh, I'm tired, but I won't show you.
it has been four years, right?
Four years that I'm holding all of you on my shoul

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Shush... It's a SecretThis is my last christmas.
It weird.
And I want to cry but I want to laugh.

I suppose it's my last christmas.
And probably my worse.

I'll be anxious all day.
Tired and depressed.

I'll be chatted to by my cousin,
Who doesn't know what's going on.
Who I want to tell the most.

How do you tell someone you're falling apart?
I've only ever typed or used someone else.
I want to explain why I can't talk to him anymore.
Why I can't trust him and just start talking to him like I used to.

The weird thing is though.
I'll have things to pass the depression.
Messing with a new phone and all the other stuff I'll get.

I just know I'll be a

Shush... it's a Secret...This is my last christmas.
It weird.
And I want to cry but I want to laugh.

I suppose it's my last christmas.
And probably my worse.

I'll be anxious all day.
Tired and depressed.

I'll be chatted to by my cousin,
Who doesn't know what's going on.
Who I want to tell the most.

How do you tell someone you're falling apart?
I've only ever typed or used someone else.
I want to explain why I can't talk to him anymore.
Why I can't trust him and just start talking to him like I used to.

The weird thing is though.
I'll have things to pass the depression.
Messing with a new phone and all the other stuff I'll get.

I just know I'll be a

Sick Of RealityYou and Me.
On christmas day.
This would be,
How it would be.
My dreams pull me away.

I can't do this.
I can't lie anymore.
Who am I kidding?
If any guy did like me...
it wouldn't be the guy I like,
Would it?

As if I'd be so lucky?

Just a little something...(Trigger: warning. Triggers. I guess)

Where are the words?
Where have they gone?
Why don't they fit in any poem or song?

I feel so much.
I don't know which is which.
Good is bad.
Bad is Good.

Guitly of the things I want for christmas.
Selfish and unrelistic.
Cruel and unhealthy.

A boy.
A boy who I pray for ever Sunday at church.
A boy who will never love me.

To feel pain.
I want my body broken and battered.
I want it to be blue and black.
Scarred and bloody.

An ugly want.
An ugly need.

Left alone. Ignore.
No. Thats not right...
They just have lives.
I don't.
Log on.
Not on.
Log out.
Don't wait about.

Sleep.
Slee

I Don't Know. Do You?Close your eyes, go to sleep.
Runaway.
If only to weep.

Break your heart.
With words that don't ryhme.
Then start again.
There is no healing time.

This isn't pain out of love.
Its pain brought on by the world.
Sleeping is hauted dreams.
Waking causes the eyes to stream.

Is it wrong that I lust the pain,
That I want that familiar sting again?
Is it wrong that I can't release my feelings,
That I can cry or be angry for no reason?

So what I want to do.
Is find a world away from reality.
Lock myself away.
Tear my friends away like plasters on my skin.
I feel angry at them. I don't know how it began.

Nod and say I'm fine.

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My Week...

by ~YellowTori, Feb 23, 2013, 8:09:32 AM
Literature / Poetry / Narrative / Free Verse

I...
I don't know where to start.
I've been feeling very alone.
I've been feeling physically ill.
Head rushes, stomach aches, headaches...
Maybe my body is finally giving up.

I've had such bad urges and wants to self harm.
And that constant feeling of wanting to die,
It never goes away.
I just get distracted...

I've been paranoid and anxious,
after being in the house for two days.
Scrubbing my hands and freaking out about complete strangers.

I haven't been sickened by my day or feelings.
I've been cold and in need of energy.
Food has comforted me in the final days of the week.

I haven't seen a single friend.
Nor had a good conversation.

The whole week has been a weird concoction of a black goo,
With flecks of fake 'old times' and sugar sponcered mania.

I've been trapped and drained.
Never relaxed.
I can't relax.

My wrists are chained with self control.
No punches.
No razor.
No badge.
Only a lip and a scab to pick at.
I have no energy to pull away from these chains either.
Well, not enough energy to face the concequences after as well.

I've been broken to deperate tears,
Curled up in a ball on the floor.
My mind has been beaten up with memories;
Broken by reality.

The only ways I've gotten by, is by watching a box set of my favourite tv show,
having daily naps- which didn't last- and daydreaming about situations of running away and going into a coma.
I started writing but even that ended too quickly.

The days have blurred together but the moment I'm in lasts forever.

I can't live like this.
Where ever I am and go there is some problem growing in my mind.
I really need to find that room and lock myself in it.
That way I can only hurt myself.
Loneliness will become second nature.
And I'll never have to be anxious again...

My Week...by ~YellowTori

Literature / Poetry / Narrative / Free Verse

How life strangles me. TRIGGERS.
This is pretty much all of my week. Except I have had moments of being 'happy' and distracted. But I have been choking on loneliness for the entire week.

You maybe be like... "What room?" So I'll clear that confusion up for you. In a poem awhile back I mention I'd lock myself away and refuse food to fade away 'like bubbles in a bath'. But then concluding at the end of the poem I'd find a room with a bed. I stll need to find a room. A room I can lock myself in. A room I dream about before I go to sleep.

~Annuski Feb 23, 2013 Student Writer

You do save people, you have no idea how many people might see you each day, and think, she's so strong she's still here.
Do not give up because people do care! And if you find that room you're looking for, someone will come along with the key to let you out. You don't seem to understand how special and tallented you are

and thats why we're all here.

You are amazing!!!

~YellowTori Feb 24, 2013 Student Writer

Thanks.

~RenosGirl77 Feb 23, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

"...Please don't give up. There might be someone out there only *you* can help, only *you* can save. I know you don't believe me right now, but until you've been all round the world and talked to every single person in it, how d'you know? How d'you know for sure that person doesn't exist? Don't take the chance of letting them down."

"All the storms that I've seen are countless reasons not to believe. But I know that as long as there will be rain, there will be clear skies after."

"Everything gets better in the end. If it's not better, it's not the end."

~YellowTori Feb 23, 2013 Student Writer

Thanks. I don't save people. I am saves by people. I struggle so much trying to help the ones I love the most. The ones who I believe need saving. Thank you though.

~RenosGirl77 Feb 24, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

It's no problem at all, I'm kind of in the same boat I guess. Thing I've found is that sometimes to help others, you need to let others help you - look after yourself so you can look after others, if you like. But that's a very noble thing for you to do, good on you!!

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